Toilet Training for 3–5 Year-Olds: How to Support Preschoolers Toward Independence
- Taryn van der Westhuizen
- 11 minutes ago
- 4 min read
If you’re the parent of a 3–5-year-old, chances are you’ve thought—or worried—about toilet training. Maybe your child is mostly dry during the day but still has accidents, or maybe they haven’t fully mastered using the toilet yet.
You’re not alone.
Here’s the truth: toilet training is about more than just staying dry. It’s a developmental milestone that involves physical skills, bladder and bowel awareness, and confidence—all of which develop at slightly different ages for every child.
when should children be toilet trained?
Most children are ready for toilet training between 2 and 3 years, and by age 4–5, the majority are daytime dry and independent. Nighttime dryness often develops later, sometimes into early school years.
It’s important to know that while occasional accidents may happen during busy or stressful days, frequent accidents at 4–5 years are usually not considered typical.
By this age, children are expected to:
Recognize when they need to pee or poop
Get to the toilet in time
Manage clothing independently
Stay dry for most of the day
If accidents are persistent or frequent, this is a sign your child may need additional support rather than waiting for “normal development” to catch up.
Why some 4-5 year-olds still have accidents
Even at this age, accidents can occur due to:
Developmental differences: Some children develop bladder or bowel awareness a little later.
Motor or sensory challenges: Difficulty with clothing, balance, or sensing the need to go can contribute.
Constipation or irregular bowel habits: Hard stools or discomfort can make accidents more likely.
Stress or life changes: Starting school, a new sibling, or other big changes can trigger accidents.
Medical issues: Urinary tract infections, overactive bladder, or other medical concerns may play a role.
Persistent accidents may indicate that a child could benefit from being reviewed by your General Practitioner or Paediatrician. If medical issues have been ruled out, then occupational therapy would be beneficial. Early intervention helps prevent stress, embarrassment, or avoidance and supports independence.
signs your child is ready for toilet training
Look for cues such as:
Communicates the need to pee or poop
Shows interest in using the toilet
Follows simple instructions
Pulls pants up and down independently
Stays dry for 1–2 hours at a time
tips to support toilet training in 3-5-year-olds
1. Keep it positive and playful
Books, songs, or games can make toileting fun rather than stressful.
2. Follow a consistent routine
Encourage regular toilet visits: after waking, after meals, and before bed.
3. Celebrate effort, not just success
Praise trying, following steps, or asking to go—even if accidents happen.
4. Make the toilet accessible
A step stool, child-sized seat, and easy-to-remove clothing can boost independence.
5. Encourage self-help skills
Teach wiping, handwashing, and clothing management gradually.
6. Address constipation if needed
Soft stools and a predictable bathroom schedule support successful toileting.
7. Be patient but proactive
While occasional accidents can happen, frequent accidents at this age are a sign your child may need extra support, not something to “wait out.”
when to seek support
Consult your General Practitioner or Paediatrician if your child:
Has frequent daytime accidents at age 4–5
Shows pain, fear, or anxiety around toileting
Struggles with self-care skills beyond toileting
Has ongoing constipation or bowel difficulties
An occupational therapist can assess motor skills, sensory sensitivities, and routines to help your child gain independence and confidence. Early support can make a big difference in preventing ongoing stress or frustration.
helpful websites & free supports in australia
If you’d like to learn more or access additional tools, the following organisations provide excellent free resources for families and early childhood settings:
Continence Health Australia – Free downloadable guides such as One Step at a Time and Easy Guide to Toilet Training, covering bowel and bladder development, toilet routines, and independence.
National Continence Helpline (1800 33 00 66) – A free nurse-run service providing advice, continence information, and referrals to local services.
Child Australia – Offers a free “Toilet Learning Tips” resource to support families and educators in developing independent toileting routines.
Kids That Go! – Provides free printable resources such as visual toileting posters, checklists, and continence tips for children and families.
Association for Children with Disability (ACD) – Offers practical information and support for families of children with disability, including toileting and continence funding options.
These resources are a great starting point to help you build confidence, structure, and consistency in your child’s toileting journey.
supporting confident, independent toilet use
Toilet training is more than just a milestone—it’s a skill that builds confidence, independence, and everyday life skills. While occasional accidents are part of learning, frequent accidents in 4–5-year-olds are not typically considered normal, and getting support can help your child feel confident, capable, and ready for school.
Every small step—every success, every attempt—helps build independence and self-esteem. With patience, guidance, and the right support, most children become fully independent in toileting by the time they start school.
If you’re concerned about your child’s toileting development, reach out. At Nurtured Growth Therapy, we help children build independence, confidence, and everyday life skills in a positive, playful way.
